I had to close the door on our friendship, because he kept climbing in through my window.

“I would rather save a few seconds than a few cents. I hope you don’t mind, but …”

“I want a beard as white as snow, and two feet deep.”

“The only way I’ll ride a horse is if that horse is in a wheelchair, being pushe…”

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a specia…”