I hate it when I go shopping and leave my wallet at home, in my pants, along with my underwear.

“I want to buy “A Touch of Gray,” because I’d look more distinguished with a tou…”

“A blanket is a coffin, if the cops are after you and you have to dump a body qu…”

“When I fake smile the corners of my mouth twitch from tiredness, then nervousne…”

“I do every other every other. That’s how thoroughly unthorough I am.”