I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it.

“Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch ou…”

“Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?”…”

“I’d imagine if you called me Cherry Cheeks, it’d make me blush like a salad.”

“A high five is a two-person applause. Me and my clone will be excited to clap f…”