I have a handicap on the golf course like you wouldn’t believe. It’s more than a limp, and less than a wheelchair.

“I watched the sunset from the comfort of my bathtub, which has a clear bottom s…”

“If I could change one thing about myself, I’d pick a new nose, because I’m tire…”

“A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.”

“The average time for lightning to strike and thunder to hit is how long I love.…”