I have a problem. I wouldn’t say I’m in a pickle. More like a vinegarized cucumber.

“When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colo…”

“A balanced argument is one that takes place entirely in my head, and doesn’t ca…”

“If my last name were Drinkfood, I’d pour you a hot cup of spaghetti. And if my …”

“He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his…”