I have a secret secret admirer. Not only is her identity a secret—but so is the fact that she admires me.


“I say yes, turn the other cheek, and let me slap your butt again. Forgiveness c…”

“I don’t like sleeping, but I do like watching the inside of my eyelids. That’s …”

“If I could have money for any amount of time, I’d take 12:59.”

“I’d like to play a game of Marco Polo—in the 13th century.”