I have as much style as a turnstile. Thrust your hips into me.

“I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.”

“Criminals should be hung like championship banners—proudly, and in an effort to…”

“If instead of having ten fingers, I had ten combs for fingers, I'd love to meet…”

“I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs.”