I have slightly less than 60 miles to go, and I’m going slightly faster than 60 miles per hour. I should arrive in a bad mood.

“My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.”

“I bought a bag of chips at the store, and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. …”

“Dipping my sticky glove into the bowl, I grabbed a handful of fingers. That’s f…”

“My love is as blue as the sky, and if I had to attach a time to it I’d say midn…”