I have so many friends I couldn’t even count them on one hand—not even if I had six fingers. Now, if I had seven fingers, I could count on them, but I still wouldn’t be able to count on my friends.

“Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two.”

“He said he didn’t think he is good, but you can tell that secretly he thinks he…”

“From afar they looked like sexy legs, until I got closer and saw they belonged …”

“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the …”