I haven’t won an award, but I have won over an award winner.

“With the money I spend on alcohol, I could support a family of four, assuming t…”

“I have two masters: laziness and ambition. Laziness is muscular, and ambition i…”

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

“The crickets sounded like maybe in the trees. They were pretty loud to be so un…”