I held open the door for the man who held up the bank. It was the least I could do to say thanks.

“I have a container full of yelling I keep in my kitchen. It makes a great clean…”

“If I were an armadillo, and a stranger came up and said I looked familiar, and …”

“No matter what I see, I always think, “They just don’t make them like they used…”

“I call masturbating “Gregging,” named not after a man named Greg, but a guy nam…”