I hit a car, but it wasn’t my fault. The bicyclist who rear ended me is to blame.

“Life is short. But so are midgets.”

“I’ve always been a pretty open person, much like a 9-5 store at 6.”

“A one dollar bill, though it weighs less than 99 pennies, is psychologically he…”

“He’s a monk, the fifth of his kind. I call him Monk E, and he is a primate.”