I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam


“She gave me her bedroom eyes. I know because we were in the kitchen at the time…”

“If your favorite politician got ran over by a bus, I’d express my condolences b…”

“I don’t get the phrase, “Cut to the chase.” When I’m exasperated with all the v…”

“I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do.”