I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.

“We made love like an earthquake, which was nice because neither one of us had t…”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“It’s amazing how my whole body can be covered up in bed except for one inch on …”

“18 rules for not getting caught. 1-17: don’t tell anybody. #18: not even your c…”