I just bought some long-lasting deodorant. You know, for the afterlife. Eternity is a long time to have stinky armpits.

“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”

“Love is a blue balloon that wants to be orange. Go Gators!”

“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let…”

“I collect things that collect dust. Like dust jackets. Despite no fingerprints …”