I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself.

“The only other man I’d let see my wife’s naked body is the butcher.”

“I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sti…”

“It’s a comforting thought knowing that no matter how old I get, I can always ge…”

“I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It’s amazing that something a…”