I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must be valuable.

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be a real boy. Maybe then my untruthful nose won’t be longer…”

“When people say they don’t understand my generation, I like to point out that i…”

“A brick could be used to increase your annual sales. But before you can sell, y…”