I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.

“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically m…”

“I like to hike in state parks, but one thing I can’t stand is pants. So I don’t…”

“My resume speaks for itself, so to speak. I recorded it on a tape recorder.”

“Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,B…”