I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

“The government is so efficient it often takes two people to do the work of one.…”

“If I were to assign a color combination to my love for you, it would be purple …”

“The only French I know is a kiss. I studied a lot of that foreign tongue in hig…”

“A brick could be used as a middle name. But who’d be dumb enough to do that, wh…”