I know she is going on vacation, so I knitted her a sweater. It matches the bathing suit I knitted her, and it’s as revealing as my feelings for her.

“I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.”

“Because I’m emotionally immature, I’d prefer letting go of you early and always…”

“Meatloaf is meatloaf is not a true statement. You can have gravy on top, ketchu…”

“I’m creative, I make up almost everything. But with all my creativity, I couldn…”