I like my spaghetti like I like my women. All over my shirt.

“My list of chores is a little too important to include in my list of life’s goa…”

“He told me he had a wife and daughter, and then he showed me a picture of an 8-…”

“Herman is not her man. But neither am I, and I love her more than any man besid…”

“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sug…”