I like to pet trees—especially if they have furry leaves.

“His last name was Morris, but I called him Mars, because it’s like he was from …”

“I won’t bring you a single rose to be romantic, but I will point out that our r…”

“I stand to inherit a lot from my father, including high cholesterol and diabete…”

“He won’t be as funny as a mountain—he’ll be hill-arious. He is my clone, and I …”