I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.

“What’s next to my bed? One night stand, though personally I find them morally o…”

“I like the New York Times. I only wish it were softer, and more like toilet pap…”

“A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to …”

“I need to go to the grocery store because I’ve got nothing in my fridge but an …”