I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks like a tablecloth. Especially when I have food all over it.

“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out …”

“A brick could be surgically inserted in the chest of a man who needs a heart tr…”

“I was only 20% right, while she was 80% right. Still, I was right that she was …”

“When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with.”