I looked him right in his eyes and I said, “I don’t like you, Cyclops.” Then I spit on his monocle and left.

“Sometimes a symbol holds more power than the thing it represents. Like the symb…”

“I respect people who make eye contact (blind people get a free respect card).”

“I’m on the road, Butte is 58 miles away, and I’m driving 85 mph. So I should be…”

“If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.”