I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup?

“Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to co…”

“When someone tells me they don’t read, I like to walk up to them and stroke the…”

“A brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be …”

“I kiss like a skyscraper meets the sky, only with less scraping and more vertig…”