I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

“My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.”

“If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double i…”

“My asshole smells like chlorine, so I hope you brought some goggles.”

“If rubber bands played basketball, I’d tell them, You have to be better down th…”