I love the way the color lavender smells, and the way the color salmon tastes. And if there were a color called “fur,” I’d like the way it feels.

“I got him a cool gift. I got him a pack of razors, and a really furry dead cat.”

“I’d staple my breath to your chest, if I thought it’d help you breathe easier. …”

“I drink coffee like other men play basketball. I drink like a woman, and that’s…”

“Everybody has something to offer the world. Even rapists, murderers, and politi…”