I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but the way I rocked it made it feel like the ocean. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“I is not only a letter, I is me. So in that respect, I guess I am a simple guy.”

“I can’t see the wind. I can only see the effects of the wind, namely your love …”

“We’ve got a tortilla chip type of love. So am I to blame if I’m looking for a l…”

“For your birthday I’ll give you 100 copies of your least favorite author’s book…”