I make love in my bathtub, because there’s only room for one person.

“I have a container full of yelling I keep in my kitchen. It makes a great clean…”

“If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.”

“I don’t call watches watches, I call them grasps, because one, they grasp onto …”

“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing yo…”