I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.

“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: t…”

“I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuc…”

“Love is, just like isn’t isn’t is.”

“I’ve found the safest place to store my valuables is in a trash sack. Unless I …”