I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wanted to go for seconds, we could, because I make love buffet style.

“A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to f…”

“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, e…”

“Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get emp…”

“Love is a good thing. Not starving to death is also a good thing. Being in love…”