I need your help. You can help me by not helping me.

“I always wear my seat belt when I drive a point home.”

“When I jog it’s like a dancing dog. Well, it’s more of a foxtrot.”

“My favorite snack is vagina. The only thing I hate is unwrapping all that saran…”

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”