I once got stabbed with a lightning bolt. True story. (No it isn’t).

“A figure 8 doesn’t figure into my plans to live to infinity.”

“A shiny metallic fridge is like a mini skyscraper. And the guy in my fridge, he…”

“Don’t raise your hand to ask a question, or I’ll give you a surprise high five.”

“In high school I attended a magnet school—for refrigerators.”