I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business as usual in Washington DC.

“Like a river, I’m going to meander through the party. Will you be my canoe?
”

“You may be dying, but I’m going to have a picnic and enjoy this glorious day. I…”

“You haven’t lived until you’ve wiped your ass with a pile of sand. Toilet paper…”

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it …”