I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this …”

“Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.”

“I run through all the positive character qualities in my mind, and assign mysel…”

“A brick and a blanket need a logo, and I’m just the designer to hire to sit aro…”