I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.


“Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.”

“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, b…”

“I drove your lunch to work, and I parked it in my stomach.”

“I hate hearing other people taking shits. Still, I’ve got nothing else to liste…”