I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.

“My brother was a great swimmer. He was as fast as a shark. Well, almost. It bea…”

“I want a driveway so long you couldn’t see the end of it even if you were 26.1 …”

“A brick could be used to replace a flat tire. After all, you want to replace li…”

“I honk at protestors to show my support, and also tell them to get the fuck out…”