I own a few yawns that I rent out to people who are tired of the sleazy snooze salesman.

“Most of the time, I feel like Phelps. At least when I’m not winning Olympic gol…”

“If I share your bottle of beer, I’ll take the left side.”

“Not only do I not believe in not believing in God, I’m also a big supporter of …”

“Wealth—one billion, two billion, what’s the difference? The difference is one b…”