I picked up the knife to cut the melon, and then smashed it with my fist instead.

“My shoes are scuffed and dirty from dancing. The grave of my enemy is where I g…”

“Whenever I drink, I always have one too many. Of course, I only ever drink one.”

“Revenge seeks its pound of flesh. That’s one fifth of my erection.”

“Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will kee…”