I pitted two ditch diggers against each other, to see who could dig a pit the fastest.

“If I had a clone, I could list myself as a character reference.”

“If you had a clone, I wouldn’t care which one of you two I dated. It’d be the s…”

“Here’s a list in no particular order: chaos, confusion, and disorganization.”

“I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.”