I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: the ear trumpet. Don’t bother snickering at me—I am deaf to your mockery.


“My heart beats to the rhythm of the windshield wipers. I’d better never drive i…”

“Yellow circles are friendly. Especially smiley faces.”

“A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a ta…”

“In the long run, a treadmill’s a great investment.”