I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.

“I don’t want to rail against modern railroad barons, because this is America, a…”

“My love for you is shaped like a left foot. And if you pulled my love out of yo…”

“I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken la…”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower,…”