I remember my first cell phone number still. I may call it and ask to speak to myself from eight years ago. If they say I have the wrong number I’ll tell them, No, right number, wrong time.

“Selling flesh-tearing torture devices for more than $55,555 dollars, now that’s…”

“I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk d…”

“Two one-armed people might seem perfect for each other, but what if they’re bot…”

“It’s easier to pick apart what is, than put together what isn’t.”