I rolled up to his house, rolled up my sleeves, ate a Fruit Roll-Up, and left. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“I’m in love with the customer service at Walmart. And by customer service I mea…”

“The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and …”

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you wi…”

“Give yourself a hug, and while you are embracing yourself, use that time to hol…”