I saw a baby make a boom-boom in his diaper, and I thought, I’d never have suspected him of being a terrorist.

“I’ll jump off a bluff, or a cliff, so don’t call my bluff, or call me Cliff.”

“My ex was a BBW, but she looked Ok. Actually, she looked more like Tx.”

“I can’t tell you how much I love @Gatorade. Wait, I’m sorry. I always get Gator…”

“Love is like a zebra refereeing a football game. I should know, because I am th…”