I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket.


“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

“Are you happy here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over a few feet.”

“I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.”

“A brick could be used to keep a level head. I don’t mean remaining rational, I …”