I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of her?

“I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little le…”

“Awards represent achievement, and to an extent they show more about who you are…”

“A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “S…”

“I'm really going to freak out if I don't get into Histrionics 101. And if I get…”