I sleep on the coasts of my bed, but I make love in the Midwest.

“If you can be quiet, you’re more than welcome to stay in my House of Silence. B…”

“I wear my underwear on the outside of my itch.”

“Did I hear that right? Did someone say ice cream? It’s an odd thing to say in t…”

“I grew a mustache, and I grew it in my garden. My mustache is organic, and will…”