I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the pizza delivery guy probably wondered if I was going to go put on some clothes and pay him.

“He’s like my best friend. And I say that only because I have no real friends, a…”

“Walking on the beach like a ventriloquist, I’ll make it sound like the ocean is…”

“My ex was a BBW, but she looked Ok. Actually, she looked more like Tx.”

“I was recently diagnosed with dyslexia and restless leg syndrome. The doctor ar…”